Skip to content

Infant feeding and relationship building

Two women holding babies and two women sitting and breast feeding babies
Infant feeding support in Barnet.  
 
Deciding how to feed your baby is a personal and important choice that parents make for their child. We are here to support your choice and provide you with as much support and information as you need, however you choose to feed your baby.
We have a dedicated Infant Feeding Team, of highly trained and experienced Infant Feeding Support Workers, offering evidence-based information and support on all types of infant feeding to families living in Barnet.
 
We offer support in various different settings, including telephone, virtual, drop-in, one-to-one clinic appointments, and where appropriate, home visits. The team are all trained in line with the UNICEF Baby Friendly Initiative standards.
 
We provide information and support on breastfeeding and maximising breastmilk, as well as supporting parents who choose bottle feeding and/or using commercial infant formula, by providing information on choosing milks, making up feeds and helping families to feed safely and responsively.
 
If you would like to speak to a member of the Infant Feeding team, please do get in touch. We work Monday – Friday, 9am – 5pm. Or come along to one of our drop-in support groups to chat face-to-face:
  • Email: hcp4b.bfsupportteam@nhs.net
  • Tel: 0800 772 3110
 
 

Support sessions

  • Monday  - By appointment only at Childs Hill Children's Centre, NW2 1HY. Please contact us to book.
  • Tuesday - Drop in support, no appointment necessary at Bell Lane Children's Centre, NW4 2AS
    • Term time only: From 10 June, 12pm - 1.30pm.
    • Term time only: From September, 12.30pm to 2pm.
  • Wednesday - By appointment only at Silkstream Children's Centre, HA8 0DA. Please contact us.
  • Friday - Drop in support, no appointment necessary at Underhill's Children's Centre, EN5 2LZ
    • 12.30pm -2.30pm all year round.
  • Friday - By appointment only at Newstead Children's Centre, N2 8LG. Please contact us.

  

Alternatively, the National Breastfeeding Helpline is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Support is available in English, Welsh, Polish, Bengali and Sylheti. Tel: 0300 100 0212  or dial 0300 456 2421 for support in Bengali and Sylheti.

Barnet’s Breastfeeding Welcome scheme and locations
Mothers have the legal right to breastfeed anywhere. Sadly, many mothers feel uncomfortable breastfeeding in public even though many venues have an open attitude to breastfeeding.
 
Barnet Council’s ‘Breastfeeding Welcome’ scheme helps mothers find welcoming places to breastfeed when they are out and about in the borough.
 
Local businesses in the scheme will display window stickers letting mothers know they support breastfeeding. You are also welcome to pop into any Children’s Centre, Library and Health Centre to ask for a quiet place to feed your baby. To see locations near you, please visit their website.

Please explore the following sections for more information:

Breastfeeding – how to position and latch baby to the breast

There are lots of different positions for breastfeeding. When using any position check that your baby is held using the ‘CHINS’ acronym – this will ensure your baby has the best chance of getting a deep, comfortable and effective latch:
 
  • C - Close – hold baby close to your body so baby doesn’t have to reach out
  • H - Head is free to tilt back – allowing baby’s head to tilt back will help them open their mouth very wide, helping to get a deep latch on the breast. Support them along their back and shoulders.
  • I - In line – Baby’s head and body are in a straight line so baby can feed and swallow. Imagine a straight line running from their nose to their belly button.
  • N - Nose to nipple – position baby’s nose just below Mum’s nipple. Baby will be able to smell the milk and will begin to root and tilt their head backwards so the nipple slips under baby’s top lip, then upwards and backwards to the soft part of baby’s palette.
  • S - Sustainable – We never know if baby is going to want to feed for 5 minutes or up to 40 minutes, so always make sure you are comfortable - either sitting upright, lying down or laid back. Add support for your arm or for your baby, if necessary, after your baby has attached. Have a drink and snack in reaching distance too!
 
These resources give more information on positioning and latching baby – some are in alternative languages too:

Signs that breastfeeding is going well

Lots of mums wonder if their baby is feeding well and getting enough milk - especially in the first few days/weeks. It’s very rare that mums don’t make enough breastmilk for their babies. It may just take a bit of time before you feel confident that you are providing enough milk
 
Generally, your baby will let you know if they are not getting what they want; wet and dirty nappies are also a good indication, as is hearing your baby swallow.
 
Let your baby guide you as to how often to feed. Responsive breastfeeding recognises that feeds are not just for nutrition, but also for love, comfort and reassurance between baby and mother. It is not possible to overfeed a breastfed baby.
 
Signs baby is well latched while feeding:
 
  • Your baby has a large mouthful of breast – no dimples!
  • It doesn’t hurt you when your baby feeds (although the first few sucks
    may feel strong)
  • Your baby rhythmically takes long sucks and swallows
  • Your baby appears content and satisfied after feeds and comes off the breast on their own.
  • Your breasts and nipples should not be sore – during or after a feed
  • Your nipples should not be misshapen after a feed – they should not be flattened or look pinched like a new lipstick

Weight gain
Most babies lose some weight between birth and day 5. They will then start to put weight on again. NICE guidelines state that babies should be back to their birth weight by three weeks old.

Nappies
Baby’s nappies will also give a good indication if baby is feeding well:

Day 1-5 - The following shows you what to expect in your baby’s nappy in the first 4 days:

  • Wees 
    •  Day 1-2: 2 wet nappies in 24 hours
    • Day 3-4: The frequency should be increasing
    • Day 5 onwards: At least 6 heavy, wet nappies in 24 hours
  • Poos
    • First stool: Black tar-like poo called meconium
    • Day 1-2: Changes to a lighter runnier brownish green poo (1or more per day)
    • Day 3-4: Changes to a brownish yellow poo (2 or more per day)
    • Day 5-7: Yellow seedy poos increasing in frequency (2 or more per day)
Day 7 onwards - After the first week and up to the first 6 weeks of life it is normal for babies to have at least 6-8 wet nappies a day and 2-4 yellow seedy poos at least the size of a £2 coin.
After 4-6 weeks your baby may have fewer poos as the breastmilk changes, this is normal if your baby is growing well.

Feeding cues and feeding patterns

Frequent breastfeeding and comfort seeking is normal behaviour. It is normal for babies to feed 8 to 12 times in 24 hours, and feed for anywhere between 5 and 40 minutes.
 
This is because baby’s tummies are very small. This is also why all babies wake through the night to feed.
 
It is important to feed your baby whenever they show signs of wanting to feed and for as long as they want to feed. Ideally, if you can spot the early feeding cues, feeding will be a lot easier for both you and baby, and more enjoyable too. If you miss the early feeding cues and your baby is crying and upset, try to calm baby first, before trying to breastfeed.
 
Formula and bottle-fed babies will show the same feeding cues as a breastfed baby. Don’t be surprised if they don’t always finish a bottle – babies are little humans and so like us have different appetites throughout the day. Look under the ‘Bottle feeding’ tab to find out about how to feed baby with a bottle responsively.

This document can help you to visually identify when your baby is hungry and wanting to feed.
 
Other reasons why you might breastfeed your baby includes:
  • Your breasts feel full
  • Your baby is distressed or needs comforting
  • You or your baby need to rest and relax
  • You simply want a cuddle with your baby
 
Remember! You cannot overfeed a breastfed baby. They will always spontaneously finish feeding when they are full.

Breastfeeding when out and about

It’s easy to breastfeed when out and about because all you need is you and your baby.
Are you aware it’s your legal right to be able to breastfeed anywhere in any public place?
 
In the early days of breastfeeding you may feel more comfortable breastfeeding in a relaxed environment, and this may be at home. It doesn’t take long for you and your baby to feel more confident and comfortable breastfeeding.
 
Many Mums attend the local breastfeeding drop-in support groups to try breastfeeding in public for the first time.
 
Handy tips and ideas for breastfeeding when you’re out and about:
  • When you are out enjoying time with your baby, it is often difficult to tell whether you are giving your baby a cuddle or breastfeeding.
  • Breastfeeding Mums can often see more breast as you are looking down at an angle and baby’s head often stops the breast from being seen by onlookers.
  • Some Mums use clothing, scarves or light blankets to discreetly cover themselves.
  • Some Mums try breastfeeding in front of a mirror at home to see how they look when they are breastfeeding.


Expressing and safely storing milk

When you first start to express it is common to get only a few drops of milk. As with breastfeeding, the more you practice, the easier it gets. Expressing at a different time of day may work better for you.

When might I need to express?
There are many reasons why mums express breastmilk and/or colostrum, including:
  • Before your baby is born – you may be advised that your baby might need extra milk when they are born. Speak to your Midwife before you start to check it is safe for you to do so. If your Midwife has given you the go ahead to hand express in the antenatal period, aim to express twice a day for no more than 10 minutes a time. Freeze the milk collected on the same day as you express it. The volume antenatally will be small, but it is perfectly tailored to your baby. And remember – every drop counts.
  • In the first few days, expressing can be helpful if your baby is sleepy, or to entice them to latch and feed.
  • If your baby has to spend some time in the neonatal unit, expressing regularly will help protect your milk supply.
  • If your baby struggles to breastfeed e.g. if they have a tongue tie, or if you are sore and have cracked nipples, you may find it better to express your milk and feed baby with a bottle in the interim.
  • Your breasts are very full (engorged) and baby is struggling to latch on to the breast. By expressing for a few minutes until the breast is softer, baby will be able to latch onto the breast more easily.
 
Resources

Please remember to get in touch with the team if you would like support to increase your milk supply, harvesting colostrum in the antenatal period, if your baby is struggling to latch to the breast, if you are worried about engorgement or mastitis, or if you have sore nipples or nipple trauma etc – we are very happy to support you with any feeding concerns.

Sterilising equipment – bottles, pump pieces etc

The NHS recommends that all infant feeding equipment (bottles, teats, breast pumps etc) are sterilised until baby is at least 12 months old.
 
This is to protect your baby from infections, especially diarrhoea and vomiting.
 
There are many ways to sterilise equipment, including cold water sterilising solution, steam, UV and boiling. Before you use any sterilising method, all feeding equipment should be thoroughly cleaned with hot soapy water using a clean bottle brush.
 

Bottle feeding – how to responsively bottle feed

‘Responsive’ feeding means feeding your baby in response to their cues and in a way that helps you build a close and loving relationship with your baby.
 
A few tips of how to achieve this includes:
  • Keeping baby close so you can see their feeding cues
  • In the early weeks/months, try to limit the people who feed baby just to the parents/primary caregivers – this helps build that new bond and also helps baby feel more secure and safe.
  • Hold baby close to you while feeding in a semi up-right position so you can see their face and look into their eyes. Remember skin-to-skin is a lovely way to bond with your baby and feed them.
  • Invite baby to take the bottle by gently rubbing the teat on their upper lip – wait for a wide open mouth and place the teat into their mouth.
  • Manage the flow of the milk by holding the bottle in a slightly tipped up position – this will ensure baby is able to manage the flow of the milk, take pauses when needed, and not get overwhelmed by a fast flow. Your baby should appear relaxed while feeding – if they start splaying their fingers or spilling milk out of their mouth, gently remove the teat and try again when baby is ready, but adjust the tilt of the bottle.
  • Babies are little humans – their appetite will differ with each feed. Don’t force baby to finish the bottle – they will take what they need and show you when they have had enough.
 
These resources give more information on responsive bottle feeding, choosing infant formula etc. Some of the resources are also in alternative languages:
 

Relationship building - building a happy baby

Babies want to be close to their parents – it helps them to feel safe and secure. By responding to their cues and their needs they will feel secure, which releases a hormone called oxytocin. Oxytocin is like a fertiliser for the baby’s growing brain. It also releases Oxytocin in you, which helps you feel more calm and happy too.
 
Some people say that if you pick up a baby too much, or every time they cry, they will become spoilt – this simply is not true. Babies don’t know how to manipulate you – they have a strong need to be close to you – you can not spoil a baby with too much love.
 
Some people might recommend that your baby needs to get into a routine to make your life easier – but babies aren’t capable of learning a routine.
 
By responding to their cues for feeding and for comfort, you will make your baby feel more secure, so they will cry less, which will help you feel more happy and calm too.
 
Some people might encourage you to let baby settle alone, or ‘self-soothe’, or ‘cry it out’. When babies are left alone to settle themselves they end up feeling more vulnerable and can become more clingy and insecure. Always respond to your baby when they cry – you can not spoil a baby with too much love.
 
Sometimes when babies cry it can be very stressful, upsetting and overwhelming. Please ask for help – you won’t be judged if you are struggling and need some advice and support from a healthcare professional. The ICON website is also a very good resource to have a look at: https://iconcope.org/  ICON stands for:
  • I – Infant crying is normal
  • C – comforting methods can help
  • O – It’s OK to walk away when it gets too much
  • N – Never, ever shake a baby

More information on relationship building and how to grow a happy baby can be found here:

Frequently asked questions

Q. I only need to breastfeed 4-6 times a day to maintain a milk supply?

A. No this is not true. It is important that milk is removed from the breasts frequently and you follow the baby’s lead. It is normal for babies to feed 8-12 times in 24 hours. The more milk removed the more milk is made.
 

Q. How long should I leave between breastfeeds to allow my breasts to refill with milk?
A. Milk is made all the time so long as milk is removed from the breasts regularly. You should follow your baby’s lead and allow him to feed for as long as he wants and how often he wants to and this may vary throughout the day and night.
 

Q. Do I offer both breasts per feed or just one?

A. Always offer both breasts, however baby may not always take both breasts. Its best to allow your baby to decide.
 

Q. Which breast do I use first?

A. Start on the opposite breast to the one that you started on at the last feed.
 

Q. Is my baby using me as a dummy?

A. Sucking is a basic instinct that babies have at birth. Babies suck for food and comfort. When suckling at the breast babies feel warm and secure. Allowing your baby to suckle at the breast when he wants to will help prevent stress which can be harmful to babies developing brains. This will also stimulate the breast to produce more milk.
 

Q. Mothers who hold their babies too much will spoil them?

A. Recent evidence has shown that babies who are held and cuddled a lot cry less, have improved brain development and more likely to become confident adults that are able to cope with their emotions.
 

Q. Is breastfeeding after 12 months still beneficial to babies?

A. Yes, the composition of the breastmilk changes to meet the baby’s development. It remains a highly important source of nutrition alongside other foods. Breastmilk helps the development of the immune system which takes between 2 and 6 years to become fully mature.

mature.

Common breastfeeding challenges

Blocked milk ducts
 
Blocked ducts are caused when the milk ducts become inflamed, and milk is unable to flow freely. If not treated blocked milk ducts can lead to mastitis.
 
Symptoms:
Sore, lumpy area on the breast that may also feel hot and can appear discoloured or red on lighter skin tones
 
Self-help measures to help relieve blocked milk ducts:
 
  • Check baby is attached well to the breast
  • Feed on affected side
  • Feed frequently
  • Massage affected area whilst feeding
  • Change feeding position, it can help if you put baby’s chin near affected area
  • Apply a cold compress before feeds to reduce swelling and pain
  • Paracetamol and ibuprofen can help if appropriate
  • If symptoms do not resolve, please see your GP

More information is available here: Breastfeeding Network:.

Sore nipples
 
If you have sore nipples when breastfeeding, it is usually because baby is not positioned or latched deeply enough at the breast. Please get in touch with us asap to support you to get a more comfortable latch.
 
If your nipples are cracked/damaged, evidence suggests that moist wound healing aids recovery of the nipple.
 
 
Engorgement
 
Engorged breasts feel heavy, hard, warm and sensitive – as if ready to burst!
 
Self-help measures to help relieve engorged breasts:
  • Breastfeed your baby frequently at least 8-12 times a day
  • Ensure your baby is well attached to the breast: you may find expressing a little milk by hand will soften the nipple area to help baby latch
  • Apply warm flannel to your breast 2 minutes before feeds to help your milk to flow
  • Cold compresses between feeds can help reduce swelling. A bag of frozen peas/vegetables is ideal (Wrap them in a light weight towel to protect your skin).
  • Use lymphatic massage – including gentle massage from the nipple towards the chest wall – see here for more details
  • If your baby is unable to breastfeed: ensure your breasts are regularly expressed by hand or pump.
  • More information is available here: https://laleche.org.uk/engorged-breasts-avoiding-and-treating/#treat

Mastitis
 
Mastitis means inflammation of the breast. The signs and symptoms of mastitis may be
  • Swollen, painful area on the breast
  • Lumpy area which may be hot to the touch
  • Pain and flu-like symptoms/or high temperature
 
Self-help measures to help relieve symptoms:
  • Do not stop breast breastfeeding as this can make the condition worse. The breast tissue is infected, not the milk. The milk is safe for baby.
  • Ensure baby is attached well to the breast
  • Warm compresses can be soothing, but not too hot or the inflammation will be worse.
  • Cool compresses may ease symptoms between feeds.
  • Gently massage affected area whilst feeding
  • Feed on affected breast first
  • Change feeding position and try putting baby’s chin near affected area
  • Ensure breast is well drained
  • Apply cool/ice compress following feeds
  • Avoid pressure from bras or clothing
  • Take pain relief
 
If symptoms do not improve within 12 hours please see your GP.  More information is available here.
 

Low milk supply

Most new mums worry that they are not producing enough milk for their baby. Signs that your baby is getting enough milk include:
  • Appropriate number of wet and dirty nappies daily
  • Weight gain
  • Baby is calm and relaxed after a feed and between feeds
 
If you are concerned that you are not producing enough milk, please get in touch with the infant feeding team for some one-to-one support.
 


Tongue tie

Tongue tie is where the little bit of skin under the tongue is too short or too tight and restricts baby’s tongue functionality.
 
Some common symptoms include:
  • Difficulty latching or staying latched to the breast
  • Baby either feeds for a very long time, very often, or for very short periods of time, very often
  • Dribbling/messy feeds
  • Coughing, choking, clicking while feeding
  • Weight concerns
  • Overly gassy/windy baby
  • Sore/damaged nipples

 

If you suspect your baby might have tongue tie, please contact the infant feeding team for support, assessment and possible referral to the tongue tie clinic.
 

Breastfeeding and returning to work/study

You don’t need to stop breastfeeding just because you’re returning to study or work.
 
Many women find ways to continue breastfeeding their baby – and employers have certain obligations towards breastfeeding women.
 
Some tips for continuing to breastfeed and returning to work/study, includes:
  • Talk to your workplace/place of study early – discuss topics such as your schedule, the workplace environment/facilities to express etc. Talking to them earlier, rather than later, allows them time to support you and get things in place before your return.
  • Prepare your own equipment – check you know how to use your breast pump, that you have an appropriate way to transport your milk home etc
  • Get a support system in place – returning to work is a big change for you and your family. Talk to your friends and family if you would like some support, especially in the early weeks/months
  • Start to build up a stash of expressed breastmilk – by starting to express, just once a day in advance, you can build up a freeze supply to take away the pressure from you
 
More information about breastfeeding and returning to work/study can be found via:

 

Caring for baby at night and safe sleep

Babies wake through the night to feed – this is perfectly normal.
 
Babies have very small stomachs and are growing very quickly in the early weeks and months. It can feel very overwhelming when your sleep is disturbed.
 
This leaflet from Unicef BFI has tips for getting some rest, whether breastfeeding or bottle feeding, and how to keep baby safe:
The Lullaby Trust has lots of useful information about safe sleeping and safe co-sleeping.

Last updated02 Jun 2025
Back to top
Working on it!